Where o Where is Steve Austin

[Alfonso Sharp]

The scene stars with Alfonso Sharp driving down a dirty and loan road out in Victoria, TX. Sharp's driving in his 2008 Hummer H3. Sharps got the IC title on the passenger seat and as we zoom out we see Sharp wearing his new Sold Out "Icon Killer" T-shirt.

Sharp: Here we are ROF Fans, after I left Mr.Cameron's office with the knowledge that first I got my PPV Wish The IC Champion "The Icon Killer" Alfonso Sharp vs. "Dumb and Bald" Steve Austin in a Ladder Match. So here I am out in Victoria, TX looking for the "Texas Rattlesnake" so I give him a big piece of my mind. Funny thing is all I see here is cactus and brown dried up grass. Ah, Texas..nothing like my home in Miami, Florida. No wonder Austin's got such a bad attitude look where he lives! See Austin not only are we going to go at it in the PPV for my IC title, but for some odd reason Cameron's wants me and you to team up against the World Tag Team Champions in a non-title match. Now I've faced Stardust and I know what he's about, never really faced off again the Rock, and then there is you.......Hmmmm looks like Sharps in the corner here, but then again there are two victims of the "Icon Killer" isn't' there. I"m not worried about that though I'm focusing on the PPV match, that's why I'm here in this dump. to talk to some locals and see if I can get any more information about you. Ah, here's a biker bar Lets check it out.

Sharp pulls over into the parking lot accidentally knocking over a motorcycle. The guys looks shocked and runs over to the driver side like he's going to knock him out. The Door Opens and Sharp takes off his glasses and puts the ROF IC title on his shoulder. The Guy looks Shocked to see Sharp here.

Guy: Hey, your Alfonso Sharp...you the guy who's beat our man Stone Cold Steve Austin last week.

Sharp: That's right I'm the guy who beat your local god...Steve Austin. You ever see Austin around here?

Guy: He was here yesterday drinking and drinking talking about the beating you gave him. Who knows if he's going to show up on your next show, but that' not the point you hit my Cycle.

Sharp: ha, I bet he was drinking himself into a coma, probably freaking out when he found out he's facing me in a ladder match for my IC title. As for your motor Cycle here (sharp tosses some hundreds at him) I just bought you a new one.


Guy: Holly Shit man, thanks, that was a piece of crap anyways..so you guys are gonna rassle again? What's the ladder for?

Sharp: Your kidding me right? I mean tell me you know what a ladder match is. (the guy gives sharp a blank stare) Ok picture this. This Beautiful belt is held high above the ring, the only way to win the match...climb the ladder and take the belt, but you can use the belt as a weapon if we have to.

Guy: You gonna kill Austin...He's already a lil old and beat up. I remember when he first started...he was great now he's just like us, beaten down and just barely alive.

Sharp: Seems like it doesn't it. It's ok I'll make quick work of him and put the final nail in the coffin that is his career.

Guy: There's a coffin too?

Sharp: Oh, god....look I"m going to go in and see if anyone can tell me something of importance you have fun with your cycle and remember you got to meet the "Icon Killer" and after I'm done with Austin he will be a sad sack of dog shit...like the stuff you just stepped in.

The guy looks down and noticed he's stepped in a big pile of dog shit.

Guy: Son of Bitch.....I swear (wonders off)

Part 2 of the search for Austin will continue later on

["Stone Cold" Steve Austin]

*Steve Austin is driving in his 4X4 black pick-up truck, talking on his cell phone to Kenny Johnson. They are doing a over-the-phone interview.*

Stone Cold: "What do you mean "What am I doing in Sanfrancisco"? I am doing the same exact thing that that rotten piece of trash did, I am simply trying to learn more about that moron......"

*Stone Cold is stormin' through rush hour traffic, not even paying attention to traffic lights."

Stone Cold: "If that jack ass thinks he can make the Rattlesnake look like and idiot, then you can bet your sorry ass that I am going to expose him for what he really is, that's why I am in sanfrancisco......the QUEEN city."

*Stone Cold hangs up his cell phone and then puts the peddle to the metal, running stop lights, nearly causing a huge pile up and almost running over a small dog. He finally makes it to a run down appartment complex. The buildings look abandoned with sheets of wood over the windows and chalk outlines of shooting victims. Portions of the building look like they've been on fire*

Austin: "Dam, I thought this was Sharp's childhood residence. There's no possible way anyone could live here, it looks like its been condemed for at least 20 years now. Somebody needs to cut this dam grass!!!"

*Austin begins to start his truck back up and leave before a black family walks out of one of the buildings. He pulls the keys out of the ignition. and hops out of his truck. He approaches the family with caution*

Austin: "Hey, I was wondering if you could.........."

Black Man: "Yo man! Aint you dat rassler.......uh...Stone Cold?"

Austin: "Yea, yea that's me. But I was wandering if you could tell me where the Sharp Family lives?"

*The Man begins to look Austin up and down, checking him out*

Black Man: "Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm......yo jeans sure do look tight. but anyway, da Sharp family lived in dat building over dare, sugar"

*Austin takes a couple steps back and stands behind his truck. He looks over his to see the building the black man pointed out, where Alfonso Sharp's family lives.*

Austin: (Thinking outloud) "What the hell? his family's house looks worse than them abandoned looking buildings. The Sharp Family home looks like one big roach infested house."

*Austin decides not to take the risk of going up to the sharp family residence and decides to go into a barber shop on the corner. Inside, it's not just a Barber shop, it's also a liquor store and a gay porno shop. So Austin proceeds with caution*

Stone Cold: "This quite possibly could be the shittiest neighborhood I've ever been in."

*Once inside the building, Austin walks up to a few men waiting on getting a hair cut*

Austin: "You gentlemen happen to know a Alfonso Sharp? I think his family lives across the street there"

Man #1: "Everbody knows that nut case. He spent most of his childhood in the funny farm.....poor kid.....very poor."

Austin: "What the hell was that stupid bastard in the funny farm for?"

Man #2: "Oh you didn't know? you about the only living human being on the face of the earth that doesn't know."

Austin: "Yea, yea.....Blah Blah! Get to the point jackass. If I stay here to to long, I'm going to need to be put in quaruntine."

Man #3: "Dat boy got caught fuckin a goat. But dat's not da bad part, afta he fucked dat goat in da ass.....he slit it's throat and left it on da police station's doorstep. After dat, he was accused of giving some white boy herpies after they had sexual intercourse, and when dat boy told every body dat Alfonso Sharp gave him herpies, Alfonso Sharp burnt dat boy's house down."

Austin: "You mean he.....actuall.....screwed a goat and slit its throat, then threw it on the police stations doorstep? Whoa man, thats some sick shit right there."

Man #1: "What you trying to get the scoop scoop on sick-o anyway? is he back to his old habits? the judge said if he ever got caught doing that sick stuff again, or spreading herpies again, that he would throw him in the nut house for the rest of his life."

Man #2: "Yo, whats a man like you doing in a barber shop? you don't have no hair."

Austin: "I'm just trying to get to know my opponent a little better before I take his title from him. So far, it sounds like I'm gonna need a tetnus shot after I get in the ring with him."

End of Scene

[Alfonso Sharp]

Alfonso Sharp walks into the local bar out here in Victoria, Texas. (For those who pay attention Alfonso Sharp is from Miami, Florida not cali) The bar is called "The Tailgate". Sharp walks in and see three guys sitting at the bar two older gentlemen who look as if they have died there on the bar and the bar tender himself who appears to have not showered in 20 years. Sharp walks over to get some more info on Steve Austin.

Sharp: Yo, are you guys alive or what?

The two old guys don't more but the bartender looks over and talks to Sharp

Bartender: You don't look like you live around here, in fact I don't smell any Horse shit on you at all.

Sharp:We'll there's a reason why, I'm From MIAMI, FLORIDA. See I shower on a regular basis, I see you have a picture of Stone Cold Steve Austin up on your wall. I hear he comes here a lot.

Bartender; Yup, he's our local hero, except for the fact he likes to beat up his wife and ex wife.

Sharp: Yeah, I heard he's quite the ladies man. He loves loving them and beating them...We'll I'm willing to do you a favor if you take down that pic and burn it, I'll give you an autographed picture of myself the ROF IC Champion Alfonso Sharp and You only have to pay me 50 buck...what you say there sally?

Bartender: Really? That' would be great...here...

The Bartender takes down the picture and tosses it into a pot and tosses a match into it. The pic burnes up really quick and sharp waits for the guy to give him the cash. As he hands Sharp the 50. Sharp hands him the autographed pic he puts up on the wall.

Bartender; I saw you last week you beat Steve Austin real Good...He was here yesterday crying to himself, but said he has a chance at another match with you and he took off.

Sharp: Yeah, I know. I feel bad for Austin he's like a special Kid that I see falling all over himself. So at the PPV I'm going to make sure I put him out of his misery.

Bartender: That will be swell...He's had a long careerer and its nice that someone like you would put him down before he ends up dying in the ring.

Sharp: Ha, DO you know who I am? I'm the King of Pain I'm the Icon Killer...see I'm even wearing the shirt. I'm not going to do it quickly...I'm going to make Austin Suffer..and Honestly I've had all of this piss town as I can handle. I'm heading Home. If Austin comes back you tell him, Sharp says Stop being a Bitch Austin and at the PPV I'll make sure to torture you just a little more, maybe just maybe I'll put you out of your misery.

With that Sharp walks out of the bar and climbs back into his Hummer H3 and takes off. He's heading back home to Miami, Florida where he'll be preparing for the IC title match at the PPV.

["Stone Cold" Steve Austin]

*Stone Cold is back in his truck and heading down the road after being totally sickened by what he learned about Alfonso Sharp. After a few miles down the road, he pulls into the city high school parking lot and gets out. He walks through the entrance door and walks down a long hallway, trying to make his way to the principals office. Along the way, Stone Cold notices hundreds of pictures mounted on the wall consisting of past high school graduates. He looks closely at them, trying to find Alfonso Sharp, but never does. Just as he makes his way to the office he stops and takes out his cell phone and calls Kenny Johnson*

Austin: "Hey, tell me something you stupid son of a bitch, I thought Alfonso Sharp lived in Sanfrancisco........Well your wrong, I'm walking through the high school in which you told me he graduated at and there is no sign of him ever being here."

*Austin pauses long enough to listen to Kenny Johson.*

Stone Cold: "So your telling me that he currently lives in Miami Florida because he was kicked out of the state of california.......the sickest state in the country.......for sexual and mental issues? Ahh, I see now, that kind of clears things up. You better hope I find a little more proof of him growing up here, because nobody, and I mean.......NOBODY, sends the Texas rattle snake on a wild goose chase."

*Austin opens the door to the principals office and walks in. He see's a male secretary, dressed in womens clothing, wearing lipstick and a wig and a stuffed bra.*

Austin: "Whoa, what the hell is wrong with you? You've got a mustache that most MEN can't even grow. Get your sorry ass up and find that jackass of a principal for me."

*The secretary nervously gets up and goes to find the principal. A few minutes later, he/she returns with the he/she principal.*

Stone Cold: "Son of a bitch, is there any regular men in this gay ass city? tell me something you sick ass, did an Alfonso Sharp graduate from this school or not? To be honest with ya, I'm running out of patience........"

*The Principal cuts Steve Austin off, trying to get the words out of her/his mouth before he/she pukes*

Principal: "Please.....don't mention his name around here ever again. Every time Someone mentions that boy's name, the school has to go on lockdown and we have to call in the SWAT team and sometimes we even have to notice the united states air force."[/b]

Austin: "Really? (Being Sarcastic)....Is that all?"

Principal: "Well.......sometimes we even have to get the president on the phone. Ya see, when Alfy got caught with Charlie in the boys room, he never was quiet the same. He burnt the gym nasium down and later got caught shoving a bananna up his.......you know.......the exit ramp, if you know what I mean."

Austin: (Pulls out a R.O.F. magazine with a picture of Alfonso Sharp on the last page) "So, your telling Stone Cold that this is the guy who....screwed a goat.......this is the guy that......slit the same goats neck and left it on the door step of a police station........You mean to tell me that this is the guy that......spent most of his child hood life in a funny farm........this is the guy who.....gave some queer boy a case of the herpies......this is the same person that.....got caught in the boys bathroom with a boy named charlie, just a going at it.......you mean to tell me tha.........."

Principal: "Okay sir, I get your point......and yes, that man in the picture is the same boy who got kicked out of the state california for trying to either kill or screw half of the boys in Sanfrancisco. Now, I know I look like a freak to you, but that boy was beyond freakish. He was just down right sick. Now if you will excuse me, I have to get things out of my office for summer break."[/b]

*Austin can no longer hold it in and blows chunks all over the secretary's desk. The Scene goes to commercial break with the secretary burning the R.O.F. magazine that contains a small picture of Alfonso Sharp, way in the back.*